Through the Cakehole

[wishus]

Right, yesterday was all about the boy. Today, I admit to one of my foibles. Okay. Just one of my foibles.


I Love Cakes

The papers say they're fattening
and not good for your health,
but I don't care and so I've grown
my very own cake shelf.

I just don't trust the Daily Mail
or even the Current Bun;
their ontological oncology
just isn't right for some.

So, I'm a little lardy-cake,
but no sponge, that's for schizzel.
I don't mean to fudge the issue,
but they're talking lemon drizzle.

Parsnip, carrot, jaffa cake;
buns with a cherry on top.
That's four towards your five a day-
don't tell me I should stop!

From Dundee to Madeira,
via Blackforest Gateau,
I think, perhaps, I can see how
my diet may have plateaued.

But I won't get in a flapjack
about my expanding belly.
I'll just have cake-hole surgery
like I've seen done on the telly.

Alas, my thin and youthful days
seem like a distant dream.
A mini-roll should cheer me up
'cause life is butter-cream.

Okay, so that's a bit speedy, but it's quick and fun and says I love cakes, so that works for me.

Huge thanks to all the people who sent me cake suggestions - I told you it was all useful stuff.

Now though, I think I'm going to have a banana, which is a bit healthier.