Still Not Enough Rice Pudding

How are you celebrating New Year's Eve? I'm off to a party that was arranged a couple of weeks ago where it was decided a fun theme would be 'national dress' - oh why!?! Cue stereotypes...

Well, I have some clogs, so I'll be Holland. They are Moshulu clogs, red with flowers on... in other words, my actual shoes. And N has a kilt so can be Scotland. Hope he wears pants this time... my mate's grandad nearly passed out last time he wore the kilt out in public in a light breeze.

He doesn't quite have the hat, though. He has a tam o'shanter made of astroturf with a golf flag and ball stuck to it. Makes it very specifically St Andrews. Mmm...

English national dress is a little harder to identify. There are different groups around trying to assert saxon clothing, or morris dancer garb, or the costumes of pearly kings and queens as examples off the English National Dress, but overall there's no consensus. I can't think it's because we are too regionalistic. I wonder if it's just that we generally have a poor grasp of our folk heritage? It's a shame, I think.

Today's motto is eat, drink, and be careful, for tomorrow we have to run round the park a bit.

We've been eating up the pies, cheese and pastries to make way for tomorrow's healthier choices. Dinner last night was duck - a fatty meat, but very tasty. Except I nearly broke a tooth on a bit of stray shot... be careful of that sort of thing if eating game. It can be cheap, but emergency dental work can make it a false economy.

Last wantonly frivolous outing of the year was a trip to the cinema to see The Hobbit - a second time for N, who went to see it whilst very drunk on Christmas Eve, and subsequently paid extra to sleep through half the 3D version. What am I going to do with him? i know it's had some iffy reviews, but I really liked it. Perhaps my enthusiasm may have been buoyed by the on-screen presence of Aidan Turner. N tried to point out that this does not make Tolkien dwarves sexy; it's just a sexy man playing a dwarf. I don't know. I am quite worried by me. I mean, I only ever really liked James McEvoy when he was playing Mr Tumnus the faun. And I only really like Orlando Bloom as Legolas (mind, I think everyone agrees that elves are meant to be sexy).

A bit of make do and mend was required as my jeans needed sewing before I was fit to venture out. Yay - I did something practical!

I've got a storytelling gig this week, so I'm planning the final outing of the Royal witches for a bit, and will hopefully be able to fit the trip into my January mini-goals.

Sealed Pot Sunday: it's not January yet, but I've chosen to travel by bus not train, and not buy a diet magazine, saving £10. Every little helps.
No-spend days: Aiming for at least 4 per week. 5 or 6 if possible.
Fitness: climb stairs every day, 150 minutes moderate exercise, building up.
Food: Budget £80. WW F&H.
Work: Sort out invoices for month, tidy office, complete reviews, begin magazine work, CV people.
Reading list: Ben Aaronovith, Rivers of London (reading) in queue: Russell Kane/Neil Gaiman/Paul Cornell/Caitlin Moran.
Cons: Book Eastercon and World Fantasycon. Hotels will have to wait.
Wedding: Choose honeymoon, pay for venue (with N)

As budgeting and saving have been foremost in my mind of late, I've been exploring quite a lot of the frugal-living blogs out there, and have noticed a few bloggers have been saying this week that they are so glad they were saving as they have managed to prevent a financial disaster due to their budgeting due to some catastrophe having happened in the last week or so that they weren't mentally prepared for, but thankfully were financially.

This week my boiler broke down, and cost twice as much to repair than was quoted. It's fine though... I panicked a bit because I'd got to pay out on a convention booking, and Christmas is looming round the corner, but realised I had some leeway. So, I've wiped out my savings from the last couple of months, but hey, at least I had some.

And positives from this week include me attending a fantastic Stir up Sunday pudding workshop, hosted by Annie Ko (so I have a pudding!), Neil completing a 10km race - his first for his triathlon club, and Neil being so slim now that he has required a shopping trip. And we went to a charity shop and managed to find him a designer shirt in there that but a few months ago he had tried on in Debenhams, but they didn't have the Large. Now Medium fits him! And the shirt was new and cost £4.50. He also got me a dress for the Christmas do, and had been mentally prepared to take me to Debenhams, but I got a really flattering swathe-dress for £9.50, brand new Autograph by M&S.

Cinders, you shall go to the ball!

Not entirely positive, as I'm feeling a bit of an ostrich about those things that are making me anxious this week, but I'm trying to stay positive and see if I can influence fate for the better.

My to do list is getting a bit troublesome what with wedding, convention budgeting, and event planning. I want Christmas off!

But let's face it... I'm a control freak.

I was pretty pleased with myself for getting the shopping in under budget this week with lots of filling meals planned. Then Neil wanted to cook me a meal on Saturday and came back from the shops with not only stuff for dinner, but loads of duplicates. This included a cooked chicken, when I was already defrosting one.

This now means extra careful planning to NOT waste food.

We're probably going to be sick of chicken this week, but I may not have time to shop next week so hopefully most of the veggies will last.

We're planning to spend more time together at weekends, including sharing shopping time together, but I am a little anxious. I know what we have in, I know where the bargains are. He thinks I undershop and thinks we'll run out of stuff. I think he's too impulsive , greedy and a shopping grump...but we have to learn to work and budget together.

I have a feeling I am just not chilled enough.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

I got to the museum in plenty of time on Wednesday to take over the evening storytelling shift while David went off to appear in Wuthering Heights. Five minutes later, my first audience came in...

It went well. My two young actress volunteers improvised their way through Elizabeth Woodville and Jacquetta of Luxembourg's story and it was different every time. They were enthusiastic and creative and had fun... I hope!

The last group had a few kids, including one who was all 'yeah, yeah, I'm bored, this isn't scary'... and we managed to get him to shut up and listen. YES!

Sadly, the BBC didn't come to film us as they couldn't get permissions to film everything they wanted, so they went to another part of the tour instead. Boo.

I made sure the girls were back safe at rendezvous point in the library, where I learned the tours were running about 40 minutes late. So, no trek to the pub for all the tour lot then. But I still had to go to see how my comedy night was doing... and the answer was, not so well. Lessons learned there, I'm afraid. Still it was lovely to talk to Pat Burtscher and Will Marsh.

I also made sure I got to see James Acaster, David Trent and Jake Moore doing their thing this week, as it was the last chance for me as we have diary clashes elsewhere. So funny! I was super-cold in the club, though, and a bit head-achey, so I think this weekend some lurg-fighting TLC is required.

I was super-glad that with very careful budgeting last month, despite the fact I didn't get a full wage, I managed not to go overdrawn. That's a couple of beers' worth of money transferred to the wedding/convention/Christmas budget. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of booking conventions at lower rates like I used to, as well. That will also save money.

I'm also getting more editorial work coming through now, which is great. The future is on its way.

So, it's the start of the month. Here are some goals:

Health and fitness - hope I can build up to going swimming later this month. I've also volunteered to marshal at parkrun until I'm well enough to run it again.

Wedding - I need to book the venues in Gretna and Northampton.

Conventions - Sci-Fi Weekender - deposit is sent. Just need to make sure we have a full caravan now.

Creative ideas - I'm performing poetry at a Christmas Lights switch on in December and there are merchandising possibilities... make a CD? What would go down better, I wonder... a general poetry CD or a Christmas album? Not long to decide.

I've also got to submit a piece for Northampton Science Fiction Writers Group. I might rewrite my 90s nostalgia story, or I already have a novella chapter written and submitted somewhere... but a crit is only useful if that somewhere is a dead end. Let's see what can be achieved over the next 2 weeks.

I've got to finalize the line-up for the Christmas Cabaret at the Racehorse. Exciting stuff! We have punk-jazz poetry, comedy, burlesque and geek show sideshow magic so far!

Writing comedy material on the joy of crap discos.

Must. Do. More. Knitting!

Leisure time - I'm planning very little in this month: a party on Friday, cinema trip on Tuesday. Frugality rules. Neil and I are planning to make a date to see either a TV film or DVD (old or borrowed) at least once a week. Last week's was Spirited Away, lent to us by a friend a few months back. That's how busy we've been! *Guilt* This week, Princess Mononoke from the same friend. Then we can post them back.

I also intend to read at least 2 books a month for pleasure - as in, not obliged to for a review or work. Am currently enjoying Joanne Harris's The Lollipop Shoes.

Frugality and money - I want to put a good chunk towards the wedding this month - it will probably have to go straight out again on securing the venues, but that will feel like progress. Hopefully Neil will have stuck to budget to get a new freezer.

declutter Kitchen cupboards, your time has come!

Christmas round my brother's house saw my sister-in-law, Annie, absolutely triumph as a domestic goddess. Turkey, proper roasties, spicy cranberry and bread sauces, salmon en croute, parmesan parsnips... mmmmmmmmm!

We both got cookery books for presents, but rather tellingly mine had nice clear colour step-by-step photos and the ones she got were full of science, theory and minimal illustration. We all know she's brilliant, a proper master at all things bakey and cakey. If I had that talent I'd take it to competitions and win stuff... but I know trying to win stuff is not everybody's cup of tea.

My perspective on life is a bit skewed right now as I keep asking myself what's important. What do I want to do? I can't quite relax into just 'being'. Sometimes I think it's about comedy, or poetry. Sometimes it's about having a tidy house or having made some nice bread. Sometimes it's about getting more than five questions right on Universally Challenged. What exactly am I trying to prove to myself? Who for?

I'm missing my mom in so many ways. I miss telling her about all the little triumphs of my life. To be honest, she probably preferred to hear the stuff I was moaning about, family gossip, what I'd had for tea etc. because she'd never really remember much, though she did like to hear about my friends:

"Now, you said you were with Ian. Which one? Is it him what wrote that Ay One?" (She'd mean Ian Watson, who wrote the screen story for the film AI)

But it's true I've done so much less I could crow about lately. I just haven't had the heart.

New Year's Eve is almost upon us. It brings an end I do not want. It brings a beginning I want just as little. All time does is move away and towards a single vanishing point: the time I was most happy. I can't say when that might have been. All I know is, in this universe, that time is behind me now.

There will be time when this hurts a little less, and other moments when I will be so happy, but because I won't be able to call my mom and tell her about them, I am not sure I'll feel the emotion so keenly.

So many people I know have been through this and are currently at varying distances from their own vanishing point. When we count down to the chimes, I will be thinking of them also: their brave smiles, their triumphs in the face of their own grief.

So, mom, if you could read this, I'd tell you I'm never giving up. I want you to be proud of me. I'm carrying on with the poetry that you loved. Also, the comedy you got petrified about on my behalf, but you don't have to worry about me. It's my art, and I'll do it on my terms. For cool people.


Oh, and I'm getting good at making stuff. Just two of this year's Christmas presents made by me:




See - who wouldn't want that sweet piece of soft Merino cable loveliness?

Oh, and I have a book coming out next year. It's called Vicious Circle. You'd have loved it - no vampires or spaceships!

Next year, Mom, I'm going to write more, be more of a home bod. I'm going to spend more time with my family in Northampton, and help my family in the Black Country as much as I can. These are resolutions I can keep.

I have had to start the day with the mental image of Paul Hollywood shaking his head at me, occasionally tutting and then saying, "No, Donna, I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed."

For indeed, I have made bread. It has everything you want of bread. A nice flavour, a good even crumb. And the middle is, erm, slightly doughy. It is still lovely, but I am suspecting my oven is a bit crap. That's right, I'm blaming the tools*. Although, it does mean I will have to really, really see if it is the oven later this week by making some more. I may even do it tonight if Asda has no whoopsy bread.

This week, I plead poverty only by dint of my own recklessness and carelessness. Losing my purse on the bus this week cost me only two extra days of bus travel (purse is returned, thanks to my bro taking me to Kettering to get it. That's a babysitting I owe him!). Losing my key cost me £6 for a replacament pink, flowery one - but it is pink and flowery. Losing my makeup bag meant I spent my birthday money on a new makeup bag and makeup. But the old one was a bit manky, and the newest thing in it was, erm, two years old. My orange and brown eyeshadow was what I bought to do my wedding makeup with. In 1997. This is not terribly hygienic. It was about time it went... Pared down and simple. That's how it is now and how it's going to stay.

But having regained my stuff, I have spent a fortune on tickets to go and see Jay and Silent Bob at the Hammersmith Apollo next February. It is N's most absolutely favourite thing - he is a huge Kevin Smith fan - and he would have been incredibly sulky about having missed it, even though there will be a free podcast of the show available later. Compensation for not getting married then, a bit, I suppose...

I've got lots to be happy about right now. Last week was a bit star-studded as I went to the Worlds of Wonder? panel at the British Library last Sunday. Farah Mendlesohn was an excellent chair for Peter Hamilton, Kari Sperring, Rachel Armstrong and Neil Gaiman. Neil! Gaiman!! Much fun was had, I got a copy of Coraline signed for Genius for his 7th birthday later this month, and enjoyed drinks and curry later with peeps. I've been reading Kari's Living With Ghosts this week, which I also picked up there, and most excellent it is too.

Then on Tuesday I did a poetry workshop with Mark Gwynne Jones, which was rather enjoyable. I'm doing another with him tomorrow (I have homework!) ahead of Saturday's Lyric Lounge event, which should be ace. If you're in Northampton do come along, or look out for us unleashing poetry at unsuspecting passers by. I will be performing in The Fishmarket and also at the Royal and Derngate Theatre as well as in between.

And on Wednesday I did a gig at the Kitchen Garden Cafe in Kings Heath, Birmingham. It was a jolly excellent night, a lovely gig in a lovely place. The headliner was the fabulous Barbara Nice and we had a special guest trying out 15 minutes of new stuff - only flippin' Jasper Carrott! And Lorna Mehan and myself got to follow him! How cool is that?! He was very good, as it happens. I know his stuff really well, as it was compulsory listening in house and car when I was growing up, so I could see for the benefit of the set he had worked the new stuff round some previously visited set-ups, but it very skilfully done and I think the TV show will be very funny. I only made the gig because N rescued me after I lost my purse and took me. I think I am blessed, and that's why he deserves lovely things.

This weekend I also headed down to Southend to see my Visionary Tongue co-editor, Jamie, and his girlfriend Sarah Louise for a party. It's Jamie's birthday today - Happy birthday, Jamie *waves*. That was fun, guys - I never thought I'd enjoy Hammond Organ music so much. Very Red Dwarf! Next time, I demand an actual slide show of telegraph poles too.

In the meantime, N went to a stag do in Salisbury and, safe to say, we've both exhausted our alcohol ration for a bit. I am actually thinking of setting myself a challenge. A lot of people would have no problem going a month without a drink, but I'm easily persuaded in social situations, so like a hardened alkie, need some kind of pledge. It's not like I drink every week, let alone every night, but this month has been a bit social and I have found myself drifting slightly away from my Weight Watchers target. A concerted effort is required, so my first challenge is going to be an alcohol free October. That includes Halloween! Oh my... is it possible?

I feel I need to set myself a no-spend challenge too as I've spent everything I had saved for the wedding and Christmas is round the corner, too. I love what Kath Kelly did in her book How I Lived for a Year on a Pound a Day but I am not doing anything so drastic. Besides, that was in 2007, and a pound does not stretch quite so far these days, I've noticed. Plus N deserves to have what he wants, and he's not so demanding.

Kath Kelly's challenge included all her spending on toiletries, food, cleaning products, social life, clothes and travel. It did not include her rent or utilities or anything to do with 'health', such as dentist visits or medicines.

If I were to do something like that I would have to not restrict N at all... he needs his meat and ale. I wouldn't be able to hitch anywhere, like Kath Kelly did, and I'd need to fulfil my bookings and getting to work, so transport would have to be out, just managed with as much care as possible. Plus the cats need what the cats need - on pain of sulk. Also, I'd make sure I cheated and got October people's birthdays sorted this month. I'd also have to not include anything going out on DD already, but I reckon I could work to a budget of £14 per week for food and socials for 2 of us, not including stuff especially for N like his meat, beer, coffee, KFC etc (would make it approx £20 in real terms), and my social life consisting of getting my writing done, the garden tidy, and maybe some seeds sown for spring. Yeah! I might make that a challenge 2 and see how I go!

Ha ha.

Ooh - should also add that I am doing a reading at Weston Favell Library on 26th September at 11am. For fellow frugalists this is free - and my contribution to celebrating the wonderful resource that is the library, which we should strive to keep staffed with experts, not volunteers, and a fabulous free community resource.

*perhaps that sound of hollowness when knocking the base wasn't quite as hollow as it should have been... another 5 minutes would have done it.

Ah - late summer! Cardigan weather. You can taste the sense of change in the air... the riots are over and things are unlikely to get as heated again, apart from the odd freaky day in September or October, and if you're lucky, the bank holiday.

Speaking of which, the bank holiday is always around my birthday, which means that I don't usually get hold of many friends to celebrate my birthday with. Last year was the first year I can remember in ages where I actually celebrated with people and it was ace! Normally, everyone's on holiday, or comatose in a pub garden, or suffering from post-BBQ 'food poisoning'. Since moving to Northampton, though, I seem to have moved into a bank-holiday-birthday-cluster -a strange phenomenon that has four of us all celebrating their birthday at the same time. This year, Clare has been the star and arranged for us to do stuff. It's all very exciting! More details after the event...

But next week I still want to do stuff for me, and this will involve:

*Going to London to see m'friend Paul Skevington interview m'friend Kim Lakin-Smith (fab writer of wondrous things!) - and that's the BSFA meeting from 7ish on 24th August at The Antelope in Belgravia (nearest tube Sloane Square). I will be drinkin' zoider! Or wine. Or both. No, probably not both... not good on the train, that.

*Eating Italian food - to make sure of which I have printed a voucher for Bella Italia. (Italian-ish, it'll do! And then it will just be a tenner for 2.Bargain!)

*Watching One Day... although, I am properly dreading it. I so loved David Nicholls' book, and the film only got 2 stars in yesterday's Metro. I won't be happy unless I'm bawling my head off. N loves it if a film requires lots of tissues. Oi! No... he pisses himself watching me watch that episode of Doctor Who where Madame Pompadour dies. I'm a sap, but I love it.

Still, it seems a bit of a shame to miss a film I've been dying to see all year just on the basis it might be a bit crap. Maybe I should just suck it and see?

*Going to see my mom.

But all this doing stuff is going to involve a bit of spending, and it's more important to try to get to Fantasycon if I can - which I haven't been able to book yet, hence I've not put myself forward for panels yet. Will do, though!

One thing that has fallen foul of the old budgetary constraints thingammybob is our wedding... would have been nice to tie the knot exactly 4 years after I proposed to N, but we just can't do what we want when we want, even cutting back - and yes, I know we could cut back to just acquiring the piece of paper if we really wanted, but it's not what we had in mind. We've pushed back the dates a bit instead.

It was in the news this week about the hike in train fares that's coming. Well, that made a decision a bit easier. The beauty of the train is I can walk to the station for 8.25 and arrive at work just in time. They're every half hour or so, and very handy for popping to London after work for gigs and stuff. Journey time is only 20 minutes from Northampton to MK, much quicker than the car. Now, the bus leaves at 7.25 and is a bit further to walk to. I get to work 55 minutes early, and have to stay back another 55 minutes to get the bus home. Journey time 40 minutes. I would probably have to go to my Vic gigs straight from work, or make the odd exception to travel by train, but the buses are comfortable, clean, I have reading time, and I just worked out today that I'm saving £61 a month!!

It does make gigging slightly more complicated, but it's the best option. I just have to make sure I don't have too many late nights now! Again... with the gigging. Oh well, not too many gigs in the diary, anyway.

And there's so much good stuff to do for free. I haven't been on one of our huge, long walks for a few weeks, so am looking forward to taking a picnic somewhere nice pretty soon. Last weekend it was the Umbrella Fair on the Racecourse - I went for one day to perform some poetry as part of the Bardic Showcase. It was on all weekend, but I wanted to see my mom on Sunday, and she's out of hospital now and on the mend, thank goodness! Besides, editing is keeping me busy... oh, will soon have news on the return of Visionary Tongue, which is a bit fabulous!

So, yes, I feel a change coming, but I'll be older and wiser, and a little bit brighter for it.

At some point I will write up the wonderful walk we did on Friday round Easton on the Hill - walk 1 of Northampton Pocket Pub Walks (not a crawl as some people have been disappointed to find out).

But, extreme insomnia and the subsequent lack of writing aside, it has been a fantastic week for one of my goals - I'm properly back on track with Weight Watchers, having shed 3.5lbs this week.

After weigh-in I decided some kind of 'good' food treat was in order for brunchy-pops. Smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel? However Asda did not have the trimmings nor the cheese I desired. So I compromised: toasted bagel with Quark and dressed lobster with mixed salad leaves. Om nom nom. Oh and then late lunch was sweet and sour tiger prawns with rice, followed by strawberries, again with Quark and a mini gingerbread man (a sort of deconstructed cheesecake). Prawns and salad were shelves of shame, the fruit and veg off the market, the sweet and sour sauce 25p for 4 servings. The lobster was a decadent purchase - I paid a whole pound for that. Because there have been meals out this week, a budget is necessary, but I am eagle-eyed for this sort of thing. Bagel 8PP, prawns 8PP and strawberries 2PP for the WW followers!

Another Spaced quote there for all the Daisy Steiners among us.

And in a very DS way, I had the brilliant idea of spring cleaning the office today. So now I have a nice, pleasant, clean and tidy environment in which to erm... procrastinate?

No, I shall be writing. A lot.

I did find yesterday's workshop on Social Media quite inspirational, as it happens. The conclusion of the workshop was more or less 'get interesting and niche ideas by making sure you cull the dull from your Twitter feed' but there were some tangents I picked up on that got me thinking and planning. I am feeling all entrepreneurial - it's a very weird feeling.

At least I no longer feel like I want to become a hermit. I have sorted things out so I can pay my bills now at least and now that I am feeling less maudlin, N and I have been looking at wedding things again and are thinking about what we might be able to do. We still want to get married next year on 29th Feb, but even the reduced-down budget is beyond our means as it stands. Thinking caps on. Wish us luck!

In the coming year, I'm also going to be working on two long-length projects. One is a tragi-comic novel with a big dollop of 90s nostalgia, and the other is non-fiction. I'll do more of a hard sell on those when they're finished, don't worry!

I'm also going to be changing my website in the next couple of months. At the moment it's shared between Neil and myself, but he does have his own site, so I'm going to have one just for me, I think. Watch that space!

Oh, and I promise I'm going to start cheering up. Eastercon is next weekend and the votes are coming in thick and fast. Deadline tomorrow...