Still Not Enough Rice Pudding

I got to the museum in plenty of time on Wednesday to take over the evening storytelling shift while David went off to appear in Wuthering Heights. Five minutes later, my first audience came in...

It went well. My two young actress volunteers improvised their way through Elizabeth Woodville and Jacquetta of Luxembourg's story and it was different every time. They were enthusiastic and creative and had fun... I hope!

The last group had a few kids, including one who was all 'yeah, yeah, I'm bored, this isn't scary'... and we managed to get him to shut up and listen. YES!

Sadly, the BBC didn't come to film us as they couldn't get permissions to film everything they wanted, so they went to another part of the tour instead. Boo.

I made sure the girls were back safe at rendezvous point in the library, where I learned the tours were running about 40 minutes late. So, no trek to the pub for all the tour lot then. But I still had to go to see how my comedy night was doing... and the answer was, not so well. Lessons learned there, I'm afraid. Still it was lovely to talk to Pat Burtscher and Will Marsh.

I also made sure I got to see James Acaster, David Trent and Jake Moore doing their thing this week, as it was the last chance for me as we have diary clashes elsewhere. So funny! I was super-cold in the club, though, and a bit head-achey, so I think this weekend some lurg-fighting TLC is required.

I was super-glad that with very careful budgeting last month, despite the fact I didn't get a full wage, I managed not to go overdrawn. That's a couple of beers' worth of money transferred to the wedding/convention/Christmas budget. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of booking conventions at lower rates like I used to, as well. That will also save money.

I'm also getting more editorial work coming through now, which is great. The future is on its way.

So, it's the start of the month. Here are some goals:

Health and fitness - hope I can build up to going swimming later this month. I've also volunteered to marshal at parkrun until I'm well enough to run it again.

Wedding - I need to book the venues in Gretna and Northampton.

Conventions - Sci-Fi Weekender - deposit is sent. Just need to make sure we have a full caravan now.

Creative ideas - I'm performing poetry at a Christmas Lights switch on in December and there are merchandising possibilities... make a CD? What would go down better, I wonder... a general poetry CD or a Christmas album? Not long to decide.

I've also got to submit a piece for Northampton Science Fiction Writers Group. I might rewrite my 90s nostalgia story, or I already have a novella chapter written and submitted somewhere... but a crit is only useful if that somewhere is a dead end. Let's see what can be achieved over the next 2 weeks.

I've got to finalize the line-up for the Christmas Cabaret at the Racehorse. Exciting stuff! We have punk-jazz poetry, comedy, burlesque and geek show sideshow magic so far!

Writing comedy material on the joy of crap discos.

Must. Do. More. Knitting!

Leisure time - I'm planning very little in this month: a party on Friday, cinema trip on Tuesday. Frugality rules. Neil and I are planning to make a date to see either a TV film or DVD (old or borrowed) at least once a week. Last week's was Spirited Away, lent to us by a friend a few months back. That's how busy we've been! *Guilt* This week, Princess Mononoke from the same friend. Then we can post them back.

I also intend to read at least 2 books a month for pleasure - as in, not obliged to for a review or work. Am currently enjoying Joanne Harris's The Lollipop Shoes.

Frugality and money - I want to put a good chunk towards the wedding this month - it will probably have to go straight out again on securing the venues, but that will feel like progress. Hopefully Neil will have stuck to budget to get a new freezer.

declutter Kitchen cupboards, your time has come!

Having had a bit of an unfocused time lately, I think I'm sharpening up my thinking skills with a view to properly working towards SEKRIT PROJECT.

To this end, I have created a new website - www.donna-scott.co.uk

Having watched Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace last week, I can't help but feel that I am slightly commodyfing myself, but then I suppose you have to if you want to get on. Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace was an interesting programme, all about Alan Greenspan and Ayn Rand and the source of the current financial crisis. As banking was involved, I couldn't help but raise some of the themes in my line of questioning when I interviewed Sarah Pinborough for the BSFA on Wednesday, as it seemed very apt for consideration of A Matter of Blood. That was a great night, by the way. you really should have been there!

I kept up the literary life yesterday when I went to Oxford for Write Fantastic - now there's an event where you literally do go to every panel! Fascinating as ever, with some very good discussions. N unfortunately couldn't attend due to diary gremlins, and poor Ian Whates was ill, so I hooked up with Susan Sinclair from my writers' group, and we spent lunchtime with Liz Williams and Trevor Jones, as well as the inimitable Ian Watson, Pat Cadigan, Chris Fowler and Jon Courtenay-Grimwood.

N met me in a car park after he had escaped the evil clutches of werk, and we headed off to my comedy gig in Cambridge. I am taking a serious approach with my gigging and trying out new stuff, so we recorded it. Unfortunately for me, I had to follow a very talented young whippersnapper named Russ Powell, who stormed his gig (I predict big things for that guy). After him, I think the crowd were ready for a break, so quite a few membrs of the audienceleft the tent. I just didn't have the same level of energy in my set to compensate for this, and I felt it, but I recorded the gig so can see on evidence it wasn't as bad as I first thought, and I've also been able to work on and hopefully strengthen those bits of writing that needed it. In comedy, the writing phase is constant, but as I'm working so seriously now that I am going to have to use this approach with every gig... and yes, I have started making an Excel spreadsheet. You may think this a joyless, anal thing to do, but I am feeling so positive and happy and in control. More please!

It's ridiculously early for getting up on a Saturday, but I'm round at my parents' house and it looks like insomnia has bitten. Never mind, everyone should be up in the next fifteen minutes or so, as my 6-year old nephew, the Genius (maths merit badge yesterday, folks. Apparently it was 'easy') has a birthday party to go to. At 9am! Dad said that's some inconsiderate parent putting their love of football before their child. Mom says they just didn't want to clash with another child's party in the afternoon. Who is right? Doesn't matter - it's still mad!

I'm here because I had a comedy gig at the Custard Factory last night. I love that place. I'm glad to see it still has a young hipster crowd that go there with an 'impress me - no try harder' attitude, because if you're in the business of impressing, that's the level you need to get past, really, so ideal for a bit of experimentation. I am not sure they were wholly the Custeratti, mind - most of them were dressed very sensibly and there was a distinct lack of tweed. But have we moved on from tweed now?

I am trying to break in new stuff, probably a bit late in the day to see what is going to work before my competition heat on Sunday, but never mind. Although I tend to do fine with my comedy these days, I do feel I need to switch it about a bit, get a bit chattier and veer away from any subject areas that may have been denounced as 'hack' by Chortle regulars. It's not that they're not funny, but the danger is you might be billed with someone who goes on before you and talks around the same thing, so it doesn't matter if there's a twist; it risks skimming the shores of boring.

So, I've been including stuff about my schooldays... but there's an anecdote I did that needs a bigger bang finish, so I'm going to have to think on more, I suppose. I slightly alienated my hipster lovelies last night by wishing speedier enlightenment on body hang-ups for the under 25s. They are happy being thin and lovely, oddly. I then came home and told my parents a story about a parent that wound me up in a cheese shop at Christmas. They have said I should include that in my set. Really, these things come out of anywhere!

Also, the poetry has been picking up lately, and I do try to include short pieces in my comedy set too. I am a writer trapped in wood. I keep whittling away at the different sides trying to get more distinct.

But something wonderful and fabulous comes along every now and then to make me feel better - more than better. Take for example the 48 hour book project which took place last weekend.



This was part of Writing Futures - a project in which several writers collaborated over a weekend to come up with a book. I was working with Mehran Waheed, Ben Elijah, Mike Davies, Polly Brown, Lisa Shepherd, Judith Allnatt, Nicola Peacock, Amy McCormack, Sue Bentley, Tom Harding, and Chris Ringrose, and the project was also put together with the hard work of Kate Earl of Literature Northants. It was a fantastic weekend, and it was great to work with so many different kinds of writers, and they were all lovely too, bonus! We all got a copy of Margaret Attwood's The Blind Assasin as part of World Book Night's book giveaway, and Sue Bentley also gave me one of her Magic Kitten books - so cute! We will round the project off with a follow up workshop on 9th April. In the meantime, you can follow our project here.

Meantime, N also went away on a writing weekend in Derby. He had a very good time, as evidenced by the massive bruise on his thigh and his dislocated knee. Don't ask.

About my life, my writing, I have never felt so focused. This is very much helped by the fact that we are trying to set a date for our wedding. But nothing has been set aside... it all needs to be done now. We are brassic. I haven't a hope in Merry Hill's chance of saving up from my dayjob, so I am going to have to start thinking, get creative. The goal and the ideal has been set. I would like to get married in Sri Lanka, go and see where the thing I like best is made (tea!) and get walked to the ceremony with an elephant. N wants to explore the architecture at the centre of Sri Lanka and go scuba diving. We will then have a big party at home for all our family and friends to come to. We want to do this a year from now. We are insane.

But if we can do it, the pieces will all float together... sekrit project, health, our future. So, I've had a fresh look at finances, re-read Kath Kelly's book on living in next to nothing, got the spending diary started, and decided now is the time to get picky about where I am going to gig. I've also started becoming a bit of a freegan - not exactly dumpster diving, but last night I did get paid in pizza. Coca Cola is no longer getting any of my money, and I'm only 3lbs off target at Weight Watchers, so I'll soon be paid off with them (mind, with pizza last night... maybe a run is in order). Also a self-imposed new bought books ban. That's the one I really need willpower with. I don't suppose I can ask many of my readers for help with that, can I? You're like my feeders. Okay, maybe I'm doomed...

It has been one of those massively busy weeks where all the different threads of my life have made some kind of demand or plea of urgency. Day job has been manic, and the editing side of my life has given me plenty to do as well, but having achieved what I set out to achieve I have looked at my ‘to do’ list and realised there is actually a lot still left at an ‘almost sorted’ stage, that I have somehow ended up de-prioritizing, so I have made it my mission to finish more stuff. I’m actually writing this blog on the train! Yeah, get me, utilizing my time...

On the creative side, I have finished the story for the Shoes, Ships and Cadavers: Tales from North Lononshire anthology, and the little biog to go with it, an article for an online comedy magazine, which I hope they consider publishing, and I’ve been trying to write some comedy material as well. I realise I am going to have to step up with this, I’ve been squeezing in perhaps one set change per every other gig, which means I have been writing in the same vein for a while. I’m going to step up with the MC work too, so my funnies need to be daisy fresh. Tried some of the new stuff at our Rugby gig on Thursday, which all worked okay.

I did want to try to do some ‘women’ jokes about periods, seeing as I seem to have got into a bit of an altercation on the Chortle forums about whether or not women only do jokes about periods, chocolate and vibrators... but when it came to it, I just couldn’t. Felt a bit ‘icky’. So I talked about bank holiday telly and the mock-moral outrage of The Sun instead.

But about the story I’m getting published... I think I can safely tell you now that it is being read by Alan Moore, who is going to write the introduction. I know! I’m thrilled and nervous all at once... My story is about the Northamptonshire witch trials of 1612. I followed Elizabeth Gaskell’s lead with the title, calling it “Arthur the Witch”, but it’s not like that story at all. I hope that sounds nice and intriguing... There will be two editions: a paperback, priced at £9.99, and a very limited edition hardback, complete with dust jacket, priced at £15.99. Check out Newcon Press for more details!

It was in writing my biog though, that I realised just how much I seem to be juggling, though I have to say it only seems that way, particularly if you consider how long it has taken me to get all the poetry, writing, and comedy threads up and running in my life. Some people – my mom, basically – have said I do too much. But then, to my mom, bothering to take the train to go shopping in Birmingham is probably ‘too much’ as well. I just can’t help it. I have to ‘do’ stuff. And maybe I’ll miss X-Factor, or a couple of nights down the pub, but I’m enjoying myself, so there.

So, am I a comedian who also writes, a poet with comedic leanings, a dabbling geek (sounds like some kind of aquatic fowl)?

When we were at the Edinburgh book festival a couple of weeks ago, I pointed out a poster of an author to N – a photo of A.L. Kennedy. That’s who I want to be like, I said. A.L. Kennedy – she’s brilliant. Everything she turns her hand to is solid gold. A Booker-nominated author, and a bloody good comedian to boot... never mind Stephen Fry, A.L. Kennedy is my new role model for industrious creativity.

And then I had a little chuckle to myself because I remembered Alexei Sayle and what he’d said a while ago on Radio 4, talking to Mark Lawson. He said something about how he’d never be nominated for the Booker prize, because he’s a comedian off the telly, and people think of him as a comedian. And yet there is A.L. Kennedy, racking up the nominations and prizes. But that seems to be off Alexei Sayle’s radar, and to be honest, him going on the radio and saying this, and then repeating it in interviews in The Guardian just make him seem a bit, well, bitter. Besides, I’ve read Mister Roberts and I’ve read stuff that has been nominated for the Booker, like Clare Morrall’s M Astonishing Splashes of Colour, and to be honest, I don’t think Sayle’s writing approaches the benchmark that has been established.

So, Sayle could say it’s something he needs to work on himself, or he could just say it’s not fair.

I’m going to turn that mirror round now and say what I see.

The Funny Women semi-finals list has been drawn up now, and though I don’t know most of the acts chosen, there are a few there who I know to be bloody brilliant. It really is their time for the spotlight to shine on them – they’ve put the effort in and it shows.

I still have my Sekrit Project in mind, and if I’m going to get where I want to get, then it’s going to be hard slog ahead... but it will be worth it.

For the next couple of years, just watch this space. I’m going to follow the example of my new role model, and get cracking with the old work ethic.

A wonderful day was spent in Oxford yesterday, where N and I went to the Write Fantastic's Fifth Aniversary event. N and I are used to seeing just the one end of Cowley Road when we go there for gigs, but we fell in love properly yesterday, particularly after Ian Watson gave us a quick beery tour of the pubs near the Bodlean, and I stared in jealousy at the students off to their formal ball in frocks and tuxes. I can remember having potential, once...

N and I made the most of the day, breathing in inspiration from the lovely Write Fantastic team and the pretty surroundings at St Hilda's. I think the day has helped me to come to a bit of a decision regarding where I am going with my life and work. It's a bit of a dream, really, but I know that whenever I post massive hints about secret projects on here, I tend to work at them until they are fulfilled, so count this as another SEKRIT PROJECT. Hoping to do the big and not so surprising reveal before year-end.

... we now own both of Ian Whates's novels, which means we can read them at the same time, then swap!


Comedy-wise, just had to turn down an amazing opportunity due to prior commitments, which makes me feel a bit depressed, but hey, I've got a Sekrit Project to work on now, so doom and gloom should cease to domnate my outlook.