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Crackers International!
Sep. 27th, 2009 05:03 pmI ventured into Northampton yesterday… popped into the Fishmarket to see Joe who is going to work on my portrait, went to the library to find out about lit events going on (they are apparently very keen to do more, so I am going to chat to the coordinator lady sometime), then a bit of grocery shopping… and whilst we were on the way, we bumped into Alex and Izzy. Alex is theatre director for the Royal and Derngate and a couple of weeks ago was one of the people on Come Dine With Me – which I love – nice fella. Turned out that Alex was going to be doing official photography for the fireworks display at Delapre Abbey. Oh ho – not just any old firework display – but Crackers!
So, we said we were going along too and we should all go for a drink after – lovely!
We thought it was going to be a tenner in, and bloomin’ worth it – but it turned out to be absolutely free! Fantastic! And, considering that 10,000 people were expected to attend, I thought the queues were pretty short. They opened the gates fifteen minutes early in fact.
As we entered the site, the crowds were bit scary for me as we were all packed in until we got into the enclosure part of the site. It felt like we were waiting for the mothership to land, but I was surrounded by enough hicks to be sure that I wouldn’t be the aliens’ first pick for a probing.
The start was a little delayed because some idiots wouldn’t move when they were told to, but it was funny listening to the repeated tannoy messages, which very subtly began suggesting that we should all be on the watch for terrorists and that we were likely to be driven mental by listening to the announcements repeatedly. I also had to hear the heart-breaking conversations of some of the girls that we were standing near – they were about thirteen or fourteen and imparting advice to each other about doing *nal etc. They seemed to be competing with each other as to who could be the loudest and even told each other to f-ing stop f-ing swearing – as there were kids there. Nice.
It was very exciting as the show started. It all began with a bit of a film about risk-taking. A cartoon of a listless-looking man sat watching TV, watching images of warning signs preceding flowers and fireworks, car bombs, aeroplanes, shots of New York, trains being cancelled, people walking round with masks on.
As the film progressed, the character gained a hard hat and safety goggles, even though he was just watching at home. Contained fireworks fizzed inside columns next to the screen and eventually, the top of the screen was ‘on fire’.
This being a 360 degree-show, our attention was caught by lasers shining on smoke rings, crackers going off behind us, rockets zipping along wires… and then, several girls with sparkler-headdresses and suits were lit up.
Sparklers on poles were carried through the crowd and other parts of the display were triggered. We watched a burning figure on the screen climb up and up, and then a person appeared. The crowd cheered! The boiler-suit-clad figure was a girl. She addressed the crowd, talked to us about risk, quoting Francis Bacon, Marie Curie and Abba. She shouted out to the audience, “Shall we take a risk?” and as they shouted back, she began stripping… and she didn’t stop. The girls near me cried out, “Cellulite!” in horror, but she was a real woman and she took it all off, waving her arms as a fountain of fireworks covered her and the platform lowered to the ground. I didn’t hear N complain, except about her lack of shaving. Tough – I don’t think that was the point. It shut the girls up though, which we both agreed was a good thing.
Then the fireworks really got going and soon we were surrounded by a wall of fireworks, going over our heads in a huge dome.
I think it was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen!
Afterwards, we met up with Alex. We could hear a few people talking about Come Dine With Me as we got near… it became clear that most of Northampton had recognised him from being on the show, and a couple of lads did come up and ask him if he had been on it. It was nice that they all seemed to be impressed, and weren’t mean or scathing. I don’t know whether I’d be a bit snappy if it was me, but it’s not likely to happen. N does get people asking him if he’s ‘that comedian bloke’ after appearing at venues where I have also appeared and I haven’t been recognised at all. It may just be that I have ‘one of those faces’. Either that, or people aren’t looking at my face.
We have been told that some gits had stolen half the fireworks we were supposed to see that very afternoon, so goodness knows how amazing that show would have been! I was pretty impressed as it was. I just hope the teabags realise that these are display fireworks and don’t blow their faces off with them – idiots!
I did have someone call out to me as I was leaving though. “Hey, Bard! Bard of Northampton!” But that was only Dean, and as he then asked me “Is it Donna?” I think he may have shouted that as he had possibly temporarily forgotten my actual name. Ah well!
So, we said we were going along too and we should all go for a drink after – lovely!
We thought it was going to be a tenner in, and bloomin’ worth it – but it turned out to be absolutely free! Fantastic! And, considering that 10,000 people were expected to attend, I thought the queues were pretty short. They opened the gates fifteen minutes early in fact.
As we entered the site, the crowds were bit scary for me as we were all packed in until we got into the enclosure part of the site. It felt like we were waiting for the mothership to land, but I was surrounded by enough hicks to be sure that I wouldn’t be the aliens’ first pick for a probing.
The start was a little delayed because some idiots wouldn’t move when they were told to, but it was funny listening to the repeated tannoy messages, which very subtly began suggesting that we should all be on the watch for terrorists and that we were likely to be driven mental by listening to the announcements repeatedly. I also had to hear the heart-breaking conversations of some of the girls that we were standing near – they were about thirteen or fourteen and imparting advice to each other about doing *nal etc. They seemed to be competing with each other as to who could be the loudest and even told each other to f-ing stop f-ing swearing – as there were kids there. Nice.
It was very exciting as the show started. It all began with a bit of a film about risk-taking. A cartoon of a listless-looking man sat watching TV, watching images of warning signs preceding flowers and fireworks, car bombs, aeroplanes, shots of New York, trains being cancelled, people walking round with masks on.
As the film progressed, the character gained a hard hat and safety goggles, even though he was just watching at home. Contained fireworks fizzed inside columns next to the screen and eventually, the top of the screen was ‘on fire’.
This being a 360 degree-show, our attention was caught by lasers shining on smoke rings, crackers going off behind us, rockets zipping along wires… and then, several girls with sparkler-headdresses and suits were lit up.
Sparklers on poles were carried through the crowd and other parts of the display were triggered. We watched a burning figure on the screen climb up and up, and then a person appeared. The crowd cheered! The boiler-suit-clad figure was a girl. She addressed the crowd, talked to us about risk, quoting Francis Bacon, Marie Curie and Abba. She shouted out to the audience, “Shall we take a risk?” and as they shouted back, she began stripping… and she didn’t stop. The girls near me cried out, “Cellulite!” in horror, but she was a real woman and she took it all off, waving her arms as a fountain of fireworks covered her and the platform lowered to the ground. I didn’t hear N complain, except about her lack of shaving. Tough – I don’t think that was the point. It shut the girls up though, which we both agreed was a good thing.
Then the fireworks really got going and soon we were surrounded by a wall of fireworks, going over our heads in a huge dome.
I think it was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen!
Afterwards, we met up with Alex. We could hear a few people talking about Come Dine With Me as we got near… it became clear that most of Northampton had recognised him from being on the show, and a couple of lads did come up and ask him if he had been on it. It was nice that they all seemed to be impressed, and weren’t mean or scathing. I don’t know whether I’d be a bit snappy if it was me, but it’s not likely to happen. N does get people asking him if he’s ‘that comedian bloke’ after appearing at venues where I have also appeared and I haven’t been recognised at all. It may just be that I have ‘one of those faces’. Either that, or people aren’t looking at my face.
We have been told that some gits had stolen half the fireworks we were supposed to see that very afternoon, so goodness knows how amazing that show would have been! I was pretty impressed as it was. I just hope the teabags realise that these are display fireworks and don’t blow their faces off with them – idiots!
I did have someone call out to me as I was leaving though. “Hey, Bard! Bard of Northampton!” But that was only Dean, and as he then asked me “Is it Donna?” I think he may have shouted that as he had possibly temporarily forgotten my actual name. Ah well!
