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Post-con Blues
Oct. 12th, 2010 05:06 pmThe weekend is over, and with it, Newcon and all its wonderfulnesses. It is always lovely to see my friends, and cons tend to be a good opportunity for us all to meet up. So when they end, there’s all the anti-climactic awfulness that you get from goodbyes and an end to all things fun.
I have to say, I felt particularly awful this time. I was feeling quite raw from the bad experiences of Saturday night, and a bit stupid about letting myself get quite so upset. I do still have chinks in my armour, even with all that I’ve done and achieved. Comedy has provided a fantastic outlet for a part of me that was itching to speak for the best part of two decades and it has been an enormous boost to my self-esteem and levels of confidence – which has helped me in other parts of my life, such as going for promotions, trying new things, and, at a really basic level, just being able to speak to people (that’s something I almost take for granted now...) Comedy has helped with that, as has getting my MA – both of which I’ve tried after having an early mid-life crisis of sorts, following the ‘milestone birthday’. See – I can’t even write about it... but basically I can’t really refer to myself as a ‘young person’ with the required conviction any more. I do try though...
Heck, I’m still young by Granta standards! Yay!
And comedy has also helped with the writing – not only summoning the guts to submit a story anywhere, but also in getting the message across – choosing the right words, and getting to what I mean by the clearest and most impactful route.
... but there is a dark side to being a performer, it’s true. And I’m very sorry about my inability to handle it sometimes.
I’m very glad to say though that the bouquets outweigh the brickbats.. . otherwise why would I bother after 2 years and 100 gigs (and if you think that sounds like a lot, just imagine about how many anyone you’ve actually heard of will have done)? I am also inspired and encouraged by friends who I have seen climbing the open-mic ladder and who are now ripping rooms at The Comedy Store and getting paid gigs.
So, to talk of more pleasant things... Newcon!
Day 2 was just as eventful. N and I - mostly N - helped out in the bar a bit as Scott had received bad news in the night and couldn’t come. As a result, we missed a few panels we wanted to see, but I was on one at least – Celtic Myths vs Vampires where I broke the unfortunate news to Mike Shevdon that I’d spotted his new book on the ‘Dark Romance’ shelves in the Milton Keynes branch of Waterstones. I also helped out keeping score for the quiz – Ian whates had set some great questions and it was very entertaining. I’m glad Paul Cornell’s team won, seeing as he was robbed on Only Connect last week! It was also very lovely to be there when Pat Cadigan praised up the poetry event that had featured myself, Cardinal Cox and Susan Sinclair. I am still blushing!
We joined Cardinal Cox, Pete Wilkinson, Ian Watson and a few others for a post-con Indian meal... to save bothering on the cooking and to prolong the weekend a bit. And so, the weekend ended...
I went on to win 2 prizes in the raffle – I picked Mike Shevdon’s latest (to save it from Milton Keynes!) and tickets to the David Gemmell awards next year – woo hoo – I get to go!!!
I have to say, I felt particularly awful this time. I was feeling quite raw from the bad experiences of Saturday night, and a bit stupid about letting myself get quite so upset. I do still have chinks in my armour, even with all that I’ve done and achieved. Comedy has provided a fantastic outlet for a part of me that was itching to speak for the best part of two decades and it has been an enormous boost to my self-esteem and levels of confidence – which has helped me in other parts of my life, such as going for promotions, trying new things, and, at a really basic level, just being able to speak to people (that’s something I almost take for granted now...) Comedy has helped with that, as has getting my MA – both of which I’ve tried after having an early mid-life crisis of sorts, following the ‘milestone birthday’. See – I can’t even write about it... but basically I can’t really refer to myself as a ‘young person’ with the required conviction any more. I do try though...
Heck, I’m still young by Granta standards! Yay!
And comedy has also helped with the writing – not only summoning the guts to submit a story anywhere, but also in getting the message across – choosing the right words, and getting to what I mean by the clearest and most impactful route.
... but there is a dark side to being a performer, it’s true. And I’m very sorry about my inability to handle it sometimes.
I’m very glad to say though that the bouquets outweigh the brickbats.. . otherwise why would I bother after 2 years and 100 gigs (and if you think that sounds like a lot, just imagine about how many anyone you’ve actually heard of will have done)? I am also inspired and encouraged by friends who I have seen climbing the open-mic ladder and who are now ripping rooms at The Comedy Store and getting paid gigs.
So, to talk of more pleasant things... Newcon!
Day 2 was just as eventful. N and I - mostly N - helped out in the bar a bit as Scott had received bad news in the night and couldn’t come. As a result, we missed a few panels we wanted to see, but I was on one at least – Celtic Myths vs Vampires where I broke the unfortunate news to Mike Shevdon that I’d spotted his new book on the ‘Dark Romance’ shelves in the Milton Keynes branch of Waterstones. I also helped out keeping score for the quiz – Ian whates had set some great questions and it was very entertaining. I’m glad Paul Cornell’s team won, seeing as he was robbed on Only Connect last week! It was also very lovely to be there when Pat Cadigan praised up the poetry event that had featured myself, Cardinal Cox and Susan Sinclair. I am still blushing!
We joined Cardinal Cox, Pete Wilkinson, Ian Watson and a few others for a post-con Indian meal... to save bothering on the cooking and to prolong the weekend a bit. And so, the weekend ended...
I went on to win 2 prizes in the raffle – I picked Mike Shevdon’s latest (to save it from Milton Keynes!) and tickets to the David Gemmell awards next year – woo hoo – I get to go!!!
